Forgiveness after Abandonment?

Forgiveness is easy when someone just makes a little mistake.  Maybe it is forgetting your birthday or saying something they didn’t mean to say. Sometimes they don’t even know they have done something.

Years ago, I took a class on Stephen Covey’s 7 Habits of Highly Effective People. He said relationships build like a bank account. The longer you know a person, the more deposits they put in your emotional account and you do the same. It is easier to forgive someone who has made deposits and occasionally makes a withdrawal because you have built a relationship based on trust.

For the most part, that has worked in my life. As I have grown older I have learned some people just never put in.  Those are people who I forgive and just let them go.

But what about family? As a Christian, I am called to forgive and believe me family members can be hurtful. Sometimes I know it is from their own pain and sometimes it is just plain meanness. Yet, I am called to forgive. It’s hard! That’s when I depend on God to help me do what I can’t do on my own.

Abandonment by my first husband was my hardest test of forgiveness because it is a betrayal of major trust. Those wedding vows meant everything to me and he turned life upside down. He didn’t just leave me, he left two kids. Raising your children alone was overwhelming at times. Left struggling financially angered me because he could afford more. My children deserved the life we promised to give them. We actually lived below the poverty level for a while.

According to recent numbers by the Census Bureau, about 1 in 3 children live in a single mother home. While you might think that isn’t too bad, it is really the effects of not having a father in the home that causes consequences that are alarming.


According to recent numbers by the Census Bureau, about 1 in 3 children live in a single mother home.


As I grew in my Christian faith, forgiveness was something I needed to learn in order to move on. It didn’t happen overnight and it took getting up everyday and choosing to forgive again. Pain and healing take time.

In the book, Robin was abandoned by both her mother and husband when she chose to keep her unborn child that had the possibility of having Down syndrome. Committed to her faith, she chose not to be bitter. Life went on as she raised her Down syndrome daughter alone with support from her faith community and secretly help from her father. Robin’s decision to protect her unborn child and trust God can be an inspiration for others!


It didn’t happen overnight and it took getting up everyday and choosing to forgive again. Pain and healing take time.


Events in Robin’s life cause both Robin and her daughter to face both of the people who abandoned them after ten years of silence. For such a loving child  not being accepted by her grandmother brings heartache. Can a child teach adults about love and forgiveness?

The character and events in the story are not real. The abandonment and issues of being a single mom were real for me. Many women face the same issues everyday alone and could use help.

This book is a story of two people who demonstrate the unconditional love and forgiveness Jesus modeled. He was betrayed by one of his disciples and the other disciples  abandoned him (abandonment and betrayal) when he was arrested and put to death. On the cross he asked God the Father to forgive everyone. On the cross – now that is forgiveness. You can trust he will never abandon you. He is a life saver! Put your faith in him.

Until next time,

Linda

 

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